Today is our 20th Wedding Anniversary. Wow! Time goes by fast! Look at the youthfulness in these pictures. There have been a few ups and downs these past 20 years, but that is part of reality. No marriage is without faults or struggles. God has put us together and we know this. We are committed to each other & God from the covenant that we made. We stood in that church 20 years ago and took an oath. The beauty and understanding of what we did that day goes deep.
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller, is a very good book. I read it September as part of the women's ministry of our church. This book is for married and single people. I wish this book was around, so I could have read it before I got married. Here is a comment posted on Amazon about the book:
Keller states in the introduction, "its [the books] primary goal is to give both married and unmarried people a vision for what marriage is according to the Bible." I believe that Keller succeeds in giving a very compelling case for marriage from the three stands above - from his experience, his realistic apologetic of building a case for the benefits and values of marriage, and then giving a compelling biblical vision throughout the book for the beauty of marriage when it reflects the glory of Christ at the center of it all. He does not minimize the difficulties, or the effort and hard work involved in a marriage, but is clear-headed, and cogently eloquent in presenting the "complexities of commitment with the wisdom of God."
Here is a sample of an excellent example he gives for submitting to the Bible as God's manual for marriage:
"Think of buying a car: If you purchase a vehicle, a machine well beyond your own ability to create, you will certainly take up the owner's manual and abide by what the designer says the car needs by way of treatment and maintenance. To ignore it would be to court disaster...Plenty of people who do not acknowledge God or the Bible, yet who are experiencing happy marriages, are largely abiding by God's intentions, whether they realize it or not. But it is far better if we are conscious of those intentions. And the place to discover them is in the writings of the Scripture."
Some of the ambivalent views and objections to marriage Keller elaborates on and dispels in this book are as follows:
"Marriage is just a piece of paper that only serves to complicate love"
"Marriage was originally about property and is now in flux"
"Marriage crushes individual identity and has been oppressive for women"
"Marriage stifles passion and is ill-fitted to psychological reality"
The Outline of Keller's book is as follows:
Chapter One - A rich and deep discussion of Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5 bringing Paul's discussion into today's context and demonstrating "why the gospel helps us to understand marriage and how marriage helps us to understand the gospel."
Chapter Two - With great skill and penetrating insight Keller shows how the sin nature resulting in selfishness necessitates the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit in making the saving work of Christ operative in bringing two hearts to beat as one.
Chapter Three - He helpfully shows what biblical love is - and what covenant commitment is all about.
Chapter Four - He elaborates on the whole question of what marriage is for: "It is a way for two spiritual friends to help each other on their journey to become the persons God designed them to be...there is a kind of deeper happiness that is found on the far side of holiness."
Chapter Five - He talks about the power of truth; the power of love - via affection, friendship, and service all in the context of grace.
Chapter Six - An excellent discussion of the Trinitarian roles and how that translates into gender roles in a marriage.
Chapter Seven - On Singleness and Marriage. Here is a sample of some guidelines he gleans for singles in relationships before marriage:
"Recognize that there are seasons for not seeking marriage."
"Understand the "gift of singleness.'"
"Get more serious about seeking marriage as you get older."
"Do not allow yourself deep emotional involvement with a non-believing person."
"Feel `attraction' in the most comprehensive sense."
"Don't let things get too passionate too quickly."
"...don't become a faux spouse for someone who won't commit to you."
"Get and submit to lots of community input."
Chapter Eight - A good discussion of sex - realities and misperceptions - and the glory of it when it is practiced the way God designed it.
The book closes with a short epilogue and a short, but very helpful discussion on decision-making and gender roles.
All the chapters are very well written, have depth and penetrating insight, are logical and clear, balanced in dealing with the "then" and "now" of how the Scriptures apply and always pointing to Jesus at the center of the meaning of life and marriage. Dr. Keller knows what he's talking about and has done an outstanding job of building a great case for marriage in a culture that simply doesn't understand it and hasn't been consulting the Creator's manual and applying it in our marriages. I now have a new favorite book on marriage to recommend whole-heartedly to singles and married couples alike!
I also think this is my favorite book on marriage. I highly recommend it to everyone. Are you in need of a good marriage book?
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